Tears of Fire
by TMNTgrl
Summary: Leo's having a bad day. First the Dragons and now his emotions are getting the better of him.... Set after Dragon's Rising. Oneshot.


**_A/N: Well, since I'm still waiting for a couple more reviews before I post more of Schism (coughcoughhinthint), I figured I may as well post this instead. Random thought train I wrote a while ago, set right after Dragon's Rising (Y'know, the one with the Neotech stuff and the big trucks and...stuff)._**

**Disclaimer: ...You know the drill...**

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**Tears of Fire**

This day officially sucks.

It isn't bad enough that the Dragons got away with half of that NeoTech stuff.

It isn't bad enough that I exploded in front of my brothers.

No, none of that is bad enough for _this_ day.

Now it's raining.

I'm all alone, turmoil churning within, out on the roofs, it's cold, it's windy, and now it's raining.

Great.

I'm going to make myself sick coming out here like this . . . but . . . I just . . .

I can't take it any more.

I throw back my head and scream as loud as I can.

Oh, it feels so good. There's nothing here I can take this out on that I won't end up hurting myself with, so I scream again. And again.

Okay. Regaining my senses here.

Maybe . . . maybe I should open up a little bit. I mean . . . I don't have to tell them _everything_, right? I can say a little bit just to get them to relax and stop-

No. That won't work. They'll see right away that there's something I'm hiding, and they'll try to pry it out of me, and . . .

Forget it.

I really should get back to the lair. It's _freezing_ out here. But I . . . I can't face them. Not yet. I just exploded in their faces, and they must be furious. Or terrified. Or both. Shell, I shouldn't have lost it like that. Now they _know_ that something's wrong.

But . . . I don't think they'll truly understand if I tell them. Besides, they shouldn't have to carry this pain, too.

Still . . . it's just so hard . . . I don't know how much longer I can keep this up before I really lose it . . .

Every warm tear that falls burns like a flame. And no matter how many times I sniffle and rub at my eyes, they keep sliding down my cheeks.

The sky seems to mimic my emotions.

Thunder. Lightning. Rain.

Anger. Fear. Hurt.

I can't stop the flow of my tears. It's just too much to handle any more.

This is it. This is the end. I'm breaking down. This is the lowest low.

Why must I cry?

I'm . . . I'm _me_. I don't cry. I just don't.

And yet here I am, standing here on a roof, in the rain, crying my eyes out. And I can't stop myself.

I wish someone could tell me what I did wrong . . .

What I did to deserve this . . .

To have to carry the weight of this pain, this great mistake, all alone . . .

The tears burn more than ever as they continue to slip from my eyes. If only I could confide freely in my brothers . . . if only I could go to them and just break down and let go . . .

But I can't.

They wouldn't understand! They've never seen me cry like this . . .

And I hope they never will.

No.

They won't.

I won't let them see me so saddened and distraught.

I can hide it. At least for a little while longer.

I can't hide the fact that something's wrong.

But I can still hide my tears.

Maybe the rain isn't such a bad thing after all.

Because in the rain, no one can tell the difference between tears from the sky, and the warm, wet, tears of fire . . . that come from within your aching heart.

I stay for a long time, long after the rain has stopped, along with the flow of my tears. Something strong and rough grasps my shoulder.

"You okay, Leo?"

"I'm fine."

Raph knows I'm lying; that's a no-brainer. But he takes my arm and leads me away. "C'mon, Leo. Time to go home."

There's nothing I can do to answer to that.

So I just suck in a heavy breath, lift my head, and square my shoulders.

Maybe I am weak.

Maybe I'm not perfect.

But I'm still a leader.

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**_A/N: I dunno...the ending seems kinda cheap to me; I couldn't figure out how to end it. But it's not bad for a random train of thought, right? Right? ...Well, don't just sit there and stare at the screen. Click the purple square and tell me!_**


End file.
